Frequently Asked Questions

“Do You Offer Home Care / Are You a Carer?”

I’m not a registered domiciliary care or home care provider, as I don’t work like a traditional carer. My background and focus are in dementia, particularly communication, emotional connection, and helping someone feel safe and settled.

Dementia specialist carer is probably the closest label, although no title fits perfectly. My skills sit on the dementia side rather than within formal home care services, and my approach is not task-driven. I work in response to the person in front of me, rather than following a fixed task list.

I do hold current Moving and Assisting certification, and I’m comfortable supporting personal care when appropriate. Everyone’s needs and wishes are different, so I’m always happy to talk things through on an individual basis.

In one-to-one work, I usually describe myself as a Personal Assistant or Care Partner, working with someone living with dementia, rather than doing to them.

“What if the person is refusing ‘carers’ or outside help?”

It may be that they don’t actually need carers — at least not in the traditional sense. The label itself can imply a loss of ability and may leave someone feeling at risk of being taken over, rather than supported.

Often, a person is still capable of far more than we realise. But the difficulties and mistakes can stand out, while strengths and abilities are easily overlooked. In most situations, the role needed may be less about doing for and more about assisting with — offering gentle prompting, cueing, and support where needed, while preserving autonomy.

The goal is simple: for the person to live their life, their way.

That might mean introducing support differently — as a personal assistant, a sous-chef, a gardener, a cleaner, a companion, or simply a listening friend. Language matters, and so does intention.

I work by building trust and rapport, meeting people where they are. When I’m doing my job well, the person I support feels empowered and valued for who they are, not defined by what they struggle with.

“Are you a dementia expert?”

If only!! What a dream that would be!!

Dementia is complex and never one-size-fits-all. When you’ve met one person living with dementia… you’ve met ONE person living with dementia.

I’m hesitant about using the word “expert.” Lived or professional experience is valuable — but meaningful support comes from combining that experience with awareness, knowledge and skill, alongside continued education, curiosity and skilled listening.

I am not an “expert,” but I do have a strong level of awareness and a genuine motivation to keep learning and developing my knowledge and skills.

My next planned training includes Validation Therapy, Thinking Eye, Tier 3 with Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care, and qualifying as a death doula.

(see my links page for good sources of dementia support and information)

“Do I need help caring for someone with dementia yet?”

Supporting someone with dementia requires a team effort — the sooner the better. It’s a long-haul journey: progressive, and ever-changing.

No one signs up for a 24/7 skilled role with no holidays, no training, and minimal professional support, within an often challenging system. Especially when the emotional-weight of responsibility to do right by your loved one is on your shoulders. Alongside this, we carry the emotions we hold ourselves (past and present), while witnessing and supporting theirs. It can begin to build, almost without us noticing, into an overwhelm and a deep exhaustion that’s hard to put into words.

Those who try to do it alone, rarely remain the main provider of care by the end of the journey. It simply isn’t possible to do it all alone.

No ONE person can be supported by only ONE person once dementia joins the mix, and not get the hump. It flows both ways. It’s a human-being thing, not a dementia thing.

We also owe it to our loved ones to find a balance that keeps us well ourselves with enough in our energy-reserve, to help them through the hurdles in life…..while still leaving us enough energy to cherish a connection with them (Reframing the Experience explained by Teepa Snow). To not only love each other, but still like each other! As humans — with or without dementia — we need to feel liked, loved, and valued, especially by those closest to us. When we as caregivers become too depleted, these connections suffer.

This is no easy thing to do! It requires pausing: taking a step back, and looking honestly at the strengths and challenges of all those involved, and the resources available. Some people are practical and organised, others excel at personal care, some bring humour and fun, others offer calm reassurance and patience. We don’t all have the same skill set nor the same tolerances.

For the areas you find most challenging (or least enjoyable), consider getting support sooner rather than later—so you can focus on where you add the most value and find the greatest reward.

“What is your availability / working hours?”

I work independently and am self-employed, rather than part of an agency or business set-up. This means my availability can be flexible and responsive, shaped around my existing commitments and what feels most useful for you.

Because it is just me, my availability depends on other bookings and personal responsibilities. For example, I help my mum to bed each evening (with some flexibility around timing). The best way to explore what might be possible is simply to get in touch — we can talk openly about what you’re looking for and whether I’m a good fit.

Many people value this way of working because it allows for a more personal, relationship-led arrangement. If you need absolute certainty that someone will always arrive at a fixed time, even at short notice, an agency with a larger team may be a better option. If, however, you’re looking for consistent one-to-one support with the same person, and some flexibility around timing, my way of working can be a real advantage.

“Commitments, Payments and Cancellations”

As an independent practitioner, I don’t require fixed contracts, set hours, or long-term commitments. Support can be arranged in a way that feels appropriate for your situation, and we can review things as needs change.

Payment is required in advance to secure a booking, usually by bank transfer. I’ll email a proforma invoice ahead of the date. If bank transfer is difficult, please let me know and we can look at an alternative.

Cancellations can be made without charge, though I appreciate at least two hours’ notice where possible. All payments, in respect to cancellations, will be fully refunded.

“What if I need what you offer but can’t afford you?”

Please do get in touch! My fees reflect the training I’ve undertaken and ongoing learning, they allow me to continue providing this work.

That said, I may still be able to offer support in ways that work for you. We might be able to find a solution if I have spare time, or explore alternatives such as skills exchange, helping with my training/qualifications, providing feedback, or partnering with others.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out — it’s always worth having a conversation.

“Do you drive / go out with the person with Dementia?”

Depending on needs, possibly.

“Do you have references?”

Bryan’s words here are probably what you really want to know.